“We owe Martha an apology.” is the opening statement in Lori Roeleveld’s latest book, Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible. She hooked me the moment I read those words about the sister of Mary (Luke 10:41-42). I knew this book would make a lasting impact on me.
Your life is significant, and you do impact our world. The author’s unique message illuminates the power of our choices and the impact those choices have on our world. Her book is unlike any other I’ve read on women from God’s Word, and it’s one I’m grateful God chose Lori to write.
I was honored to interview Lori before the launch of Graceful Influence. Please continue reading to learn more about Lori and her motivation for sharing this message.
Who are two of your favorite, most influential authors, and why?
C. S. Lewis had a huge influence on me. I still go to his writings all the time. Also, I love quotes by G. K. Chesterton. As the disturber of hobbits, I’ve also obviously been impacted by Tolkien. A more modern personal favorite is Jerry Jenkins. He’s been a tremendous support and mentor. His book, Riven, is just a brilliant book. And I must mention Randy Alcorn. Randy Alcorn’s book Safely Home changed my life – my way of thinking about following Christ.
To push back a little further, what was your favorite book from childhood?
I read everything when I was a child. There was a little set of five books that were just mine, including Little Women, Black Beauty, and Treasure Island. Those have good memories. I had a children’s Bible that I just ate up and a big book of children’s Russian literature containing Russian fairy tales, etc.
Regarding Graceful Influence, what would you like your readers to know about your relationship and journey with Christ?
He’s the One who decides my influence; He’s the One I trust to determine the scope of my influence in this world. The story of Mary anointing Him before the Passover is very meaningful to me. She wasn’t trying to be significant. She just loved Him. And the people around Him were full of all kinds of other motives. I’m sure most of them would not have wanted hers to be told.
The fact that Jesus decided her story would be told forever? That’s powerful. I need to trust Him. I don’t have to try to be significant. I am significant to Him, and the things I do have a much broader impact because of Him. I just need to love Him and not care who is watching me express that love.
You’re a gifted writer who engages your readers with truth, grace, and humor. Anyone who reads your writing knows you don’t avoid challenging topics from our world, like our political climate, humanitarian crises, and The Gospel. Your voice is confident and filled with grace. Has this always been the voice of your messages?
No. By nature, I’m a big conflict-avoider. When I was a little girl, I was famously afraid of everything. It used to be a big joke around my family that I was afraid of dogs, water, heights, the dark, and life in general. I grew up in a home that did not nurture me by any means. I tried to be invisible because most of the time I felt invisible. And the conflict in our house? There was no way to win. If anyone engaged in conflict in my home, they had to be ready to go to the mat; that was never me. I just wanted peace, and I entered adulthood like that. I didn’t want conflict, but following Jesus creates conflict. He walks into it. He stirs things up.
My greater desire than peace was to follow Jesus, so I’ve learned to be better at hard conversations.
What actions inspired you to write Graceful Influence?
A couple of months before Graceful Influence, I told my agent I was done writing books. I made a list of my strengths as a writer and shared them with him. I just wanted to write for God, and it didn’t really matter if it was books or cereal boxes as long as I was writing His message. A couple of months later, Dawn Anderson, editor of Our Daily Bread, sent out a call looking for books on specific topics. My agent asked me to take a look. I saw that one topic was women in the Bible and wondered if I could write one about the way I see women and their influence. I pitched my idea, and they liked it.
When considering your other books, blogs, and articles, how does Graceful Influence align with – or complement – your other published works?
It’s more like getting back to my original voice. My first book, Running From a Crazy Man, was just flat out my voice: quirky, very New England, very northern, in-your-face way of dealing with the oddities of what it means to follow Jesus. And Red Pen Redemption is very purely my voice. My next books? I love those books, and they have solid messages. Readers will definitely benefit from reading them, but I was also trying to rein in my voice into a more acceptable package. Graceful Influence is just me again, saying let’s see what the Bible looks like with flesh on.
I’m hoping to contribute to stopping some of the comparisons we make with women. Like, “don’t be a Martha, be a Mary.” Jesus didn’t tell Martha to stop being Martha. That’s not what happened. We women are always tempted to compare ourselves, but we should celebrate one another. In Graceful Influence, I do put two women together in each chapter, but I worked hard to lead my readers to look at their choices and the consequences.
What was the context of each choice? How many of us find ourselves in similar situations? What can we learn from women who made sinful choices and God’s interaction with them? I want us to look at her consequences and decide we don’t have to be her because sometimes we are her, but we can learn from her.
How do you summarize the message of Graceful Influence?
We do have an impact; our choices have an impact. There’s a lot of worry regarding how we’re going to make our lives significant. Our lives are significant! They already are! That’s what God wove into the fabric of our existence, that we influence each other. The less we worry about whether our lives have an impact, the more we focus on what the impact will be. Am I going to choose life? Am I going to have an impact for God or an impact that leads people away from God?
We need to move past our significance. It’s not that we’re insignificant. Often, our significance is hidden from us by the enemy, our own sins, and other people’s sins. Significance is just a fact. We impact the culture of our households. We have a great impact on the culture of our workplace, our communities, our churches, and the world. It just ripples on. It doesn’t always feel like we have an impact, but we do.
Is there a chapter in your book that most resonates with you?
The story of Michal with David resonates with me very much. Coming home from powerful worship only to have someone try to mock you or bring you “down.” Then, that whole story stands in stark contrast with Anna, who spent her life – decades – worshipping. She must have been invisible to anybody who went to the temple. She was just always there; she probably became part of the furniture. Yet she was not invisible to God; she was given the opportunity to see Jesus. I think that was so powerful because I love to be with God. I love to be with Jesus. I would love to spend hours a day with Him, and yet I’m often distracted.
What do you hope your readers receive from Graceful Influence?
They feel the courage to be who they are, exactly who they are in Christ. And to trust Him with their story – to embrace who God created them to be. I say this at many of my talks: “At some point, God had an idea, and it was you.” When we are freed from sin, we’re free to inhabit His idea of us, and that’s powerful.
What would you most like to hear from Our Father?
I was both faithful and a good steward of His Word. I take that very seriously. I want women to know it’s important to be them but also to know it’s important they make the choice to obey God. To make the hard choices that lead toward God and not away. That’s why I look at the consequences of women who made other choices and say, “Look where it ended up.” I don’t know about others, but I need every tool in the box when facing temptation. I hope this is a tool to help women and men make the right choices.
What’s your favorite way to celebrate the release of a new book?
We’re having a mini-retreat at our church, where we’ll spend time worshipping and reading God’s Word. We will pray over all the women that come and pray a blessing over the book. That’s my favorite thing – to worship with other people and celebrate. You know nobody writes a book by themselves. My husband eats bad food for weeks when I’m right at the end of the work. My adult kids and grandkids are part of it. And our church. Women brought food to our house when I was editing. And they’re all praying for the readers.
Lori, thank you for granting me this interview. You are a graceful influence in my life, and I am certain this is true for many of your peers and readers. May I pray for you?
Thank you. That would be wonderful.
Father, we come to you in Jesus’ holy and precious name. We thank You for access to You through Christ and that You are available at all times and places. Thank you for being the Giver of Good Gifts, of which Lori is one. I praise You for Lori and the good that flows through her from You. And I lay her before You requesting Your continued guidance in her life, protection over her and her family, and endless opportunities to expand Your kingdom with her graceful influence. May she enjoy success in her ministry to the world, quality rest and renewal, and joy with her family. Father, we thank you for Your sufficient grace extended to us. May we endeavor to accept it and share it for Your glory.
In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.
About the Author:
Lori Stanley Roeleveld is a traditionally published, award-winning author, writing coach, speaker, and disturber of hobbits, who enjoys making comfortable Christians late for dinner. Lori teaches on perseverance, lasting impact, and hard conversations and is known for her humor, storytelling, and engaging delivery of biblical truth. She owns Take Heart! Coaching and Freelance, coaching over 125 Christian writers toward their goals. Her articles appear on popular sites including Crosswalk, Christianity.com, and in numerous Guideposts publications. She’s an experienced ghostwriter/collaborator. Though she has degrees in Psychology and Biblical Studies, Lori learned the most from studying her Bible in life’s trenches.
Connect with Lori at:
www.loriroeleveld.com
www.takeheartcoachingandfreelance.com
“No matter how small we may feel our lives are or how limited we view our reach, our actions touch and ripple through other lives. We make a difference. We should worry less about the size of our reach and focus more on ensuring our effect is for God’s glory.” – Lori Roeleveld, Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible.
Do you have one in your life who was – or is – a Graceful Influence?
Did something from Lori’s heart resonate with you?
Let us know with a comment below.
P.S. Click here to order your copy of Graceful Influence from Amazon.
Cathy Baker says
Great questions, Charla. I enjoyed this interview so much. One of my favorite lines is: “The less we worry about whether our lives have an impact, the more we focus on what the impact will be.” Keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. Yes, Lord!
Charla Matthews says
Thank you so much, Cathy! You’re encouragement and support a treasures on my journey. Yes, that was one of many powerful truths from Lori!